Have you been feeling restless, unmotivated, having trouble concentrating or just generally blah but you can’t put your finger on why?
If so then, you may be languishing.
Languishing is the opposite of flourishing. (Corey Keyes) It’s not as obvious as say, depression or anxiety which is why you may overlook the fact that you are still not feeling the joy or contentment in your life or work that you used to. You are not alone; it’s been said that 30%-50% of us are languishing.
Although not as life altering as a mental illness, languishing can still dramatically affect how you work, live and your general wellbeing. It’s a series of emotions or feelings that leave you feeling stagnant or restless, but you can’t find a cause or reason for the feeling.
The pandemic was difficult, we all felt a little stuck and that our lives were not really in our control during the initial months but as we start to go back to work, school and life, this feeling of apathy and dissatisfaction is still lingering. If you had a job before the pandemic that was already unfulfilling or stressful, than things most likely only got worse or more challenging as we begin to figure out our new way of working. Being a full-time caretaker of the kids took on a whole new meaning during the pandemic and continues to be a challenge as we move back to some version of normal. All these challenges can lead to a feeling of languishing.
Adam Grant describes it perfectly, it’s like you are seeing life through a foggy windshield. You don’t feel sick, but you don’t feel well.
How can we start THRIVING instead of just surviving?
Most important thing to do first is to RECOGNIZE you are in fact languishing. Once you NOTICE this feeling of stagnation or disengagement, you can begin to be MINDFUL of your daily routine and where adjustments need to be made to find that JOY again.
Some questions to ask yourself:
What activities or projects ENERGIZE me?
Make a list and put at least one on your calendar each day. Not just as a reward but as something that is as important as a work meeting or daily chore. Instead of focusing on what “should” make you happy, lean into the things that brings you enjoyment.
Where am I making PROGRESS at WORK or my home-life?
How is my work making a difference in the organization? How are my contributions to the family providing a safe and comfortable environment?
WHO brings me that feeling of VALUE and happiness?
Spending time with the people who make you feel happy and valued is so important. Maybe share how you are feeling, be VULNERABLE! I bet you many of your family members, friends or collogues are also Languishing in some way.
Lastly, practicing MINDFULLNESS will help bring you some peace by staying in the present moment. Not ruminating on the past or worrying about the future, just managing this moment, right now.
Waiting for our world, and life, to get back to “NORMAL” after something like a pandemic will only prolong that restlessness and feeling stuck. Looking for places in your life that you can change and find a little control over will help clear the foggy windshield so that you can THRIVE!
